Transforming vs Transformation

When I began working with the enneagram there was a lot of talk of “transformation.  All of us who had been reading books and attending workshops seemed to come to the understanding that if we read enough and understand enough, we will transform our compulsions to virtues. Ie Anger to Serenity, Pride to Humility, Vanity to Truth, Envy to Equanimity, Avarice to Detachment, Fear to Courage, Gluttony to Sobriety, Lust to Innocence and Acedia to Love.

The common belief was that we could make the “bad” parts of ourselves go away and we would only be left with the good parts. We could then stop coming to groups and reading enneagram books because we had “transformed”.

I have to admit that when I first started this work, I too, hoped to “transform” into a being whose life would be carefree and easy--No more conflict, no more shame, I would have all the answers and know all the right things to say because I had “transformed”.

After 32 years, I must admit that I have still not “transformed”.  The possibility of reaching some magical point of “transformation” was just my hopeful assumption. The fact is that there is no end point for our enneagram work. Our self-observation work and our struggle with it is the ongoing work of being human.  

But, by noticing, accepting and working with all parts of us, we enter a process of evolution that helps grow us.  We need to bring the whole of us to this work. Our shadow and light, our good and bad, our angels and our demons are all needed in our process of self-understanding, and self-love, and self-evolution. 

It is not easy work and it calls us all to wrestle and struggle with our reactions and judgements every day. Through this struggle with all parts of us, including those parts we have disowned, we are able to transform the lives around us which in turn, changes us. 

Our life in this work is not about achieving a state of “transformation”; it is about choosing to be in a state of awareness and entering into the process of constantly transforming.  

New Intensive Study Group

If you felt that meeting once a month was not enough, this new group is for you. An opportunity to refocus on your enneagram work every two weeks. Integrating the Shadow of the Enneagram Study Group will meet from April 1st to July 29th.  

Dale